Ah, Halo. One of the most notable series in all of gaming. So much so, in fact, that it spawned its own books, toys, Gatorade, and yes, incredibly bad internet comments. As such, it will be the theme for this week’s episode of Concerning Comments. Sit back and enjoy a cup of tea(bags) as we set our warp drives for hilarity.

As usual, comments may contain strong language or other indecent material.

Comments, commence!

Our first gem comes from user fallout737. He made sure to emphasize that he was angry about mags or something like that, and seems to think that Master Chief should take a “dose” of an invincibility potion so that “die” would be “impossible”.

Next, we get someone who needed help finding the “chode” (must… contain… laughter) for Halo: Reach, which is strange considering there was no online pass for the game. Still, the fact that he was apparently making love to Batman while typing this comment is pretty impressive.

We live in a world where nobody can be trusted, least of all fanboys. Don’t you just hate the ones “how have nothing better to do?”

This guy has actually taken the time to “ppayee” Counter-Strike and simply can’t stand the fact that bullets actually go where you want them to. In a way he’s right; why not have bullets teleport to random countries whenever you fire them?

Proof that a simple mistake can have large consequences. This user boldy states that Halo does not engage in intercourse, and anyone who disagrees should “suck ass hole.”

Normally, fans of Halo attempt to bad-mouth other FPS titles constantly. Not this fellow, though. He has devised an excellent plan; hoping that other gamers buy Call of Duty instead so they can realize just how good Halo is in comparison. Makes sense to me.

Wait, what? No seriously,what is this guy saying?

Do you remember when a certain game was the best game ever? Hopefully you do, but try not to confuse that with the time that it was the best game ever in your opinion. There’s a huge difference, you know.

Woah, hold up. What does lmt mean, and how does winding up the aliens allow you to beat them? I didn’t know they were toys. Still, I do agree the “warthohs” were underwhelming.

This guy is pretty well off, seeing as he has two consoles he plays on; an Xbox, and a straight guy. He also has the power to see whether or not people have arguments. If only I had that power.

Finally, we come to the crown jewel; the best of the best. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the most grammatically questionable comment of the day. The artistic quality on display here is simply staggering.

BONUS: Metacritic Review

This user has written a very insightful review of Halo: Reach, stating that it’s so good it deserves a 0/10. Apparently, the first Halo was worse, meaning it would have scored at least a -1/10 from him.

 

Make sure tune in next week for another side-splitting episode of Concerning Comments; every Thursday here at OnlySP.

 

Michael Urban
Now an occasional contributer, Michael Urban is the former Editor-in-Chief at OnlySP and has the nickname "Breadcrab" for reasons his therapist still doesn't understand. From the moment he first got hacked in Runescape, he's been uninterested in multiplayer games and has pursued the beauty of the single-player experience, especially in terms of story and creative design. His hobbies include reading, writing, singing in the shower, pretending to be productive, and providing info and feedback regarding the games industry. It is an industry, right? You can ask him a question or send him spam at michaelurban@onlysp.escapistmagazine.com. Also, follow him on Twitter or the terrorists win. (@MichaelUrban1)

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